Thursday, August 10, 2017

WHEN I SAY I LOVE YOU

Many of us use the phrase I love you many,many times during the course of our day. But how many of those times are we "feeling" what we are saying, and how many times are we just repeating a phrase we have grown accustomed to? Often times I wonder about this. I realize that the word love may mean different things to each one of us. But here is something I have thought about for many, many years now. Sad to say but it does seem to me that most of the people who say I love you are really saying I will love you as long as you continue to do or be something I think I need in my life. And by this I don't mean just giving material things but things also like compliments, a helping hand, or anything else that may make them feel good about themselves. But then, the minute you stop doing any of the things they "need", they no longer have any desire to be around you or to even remain a friend. I see it happen to people all the time. Now, please don't get me wrong, if that is the only way they can define love then who am I to expect them to behave any differently. It may be the only kind of love they are able to give. As for myself when I say I love you that means I love you simply because you are a human being who is a part of myself, a mere reflection of myself. I truly wish there was more of this kind of love going around. This is just one reason why at times I feel I have been misplaced and thrown into a world where I don't belong. But at the same time I know I am always right where I am meant to be. Another paradox of the human life of illusion I suppose! I am tired, I am a little weary, I am ready to go back home! Back home, where all is pure unconditional love! But I know I must remain until that time has come. So in the meanwhile I sure hope to continue to be able to say I love you and really feel the essence of pure love when I do say it. May that little phrase never, never become just something I say without the true meaning behind it. I am at peace even in a world where it seems that hatred, violence, egotism, greed, and so much B/S is the norm. But yet, I keep on dreaming and I can truly say from ,my heart that I love you! May your day be richly blessed. Be good to yourself and even better to others!

Thursday, July 6, 2017

ASSUME NOTHING

I recently asked a young friend of mine what she thought was something all of us could do to help make this world a better place for all of us. She was quick to reply that she felt we should stop assuming things And I have to agree with her on that one. Because often times assuming something creates all kind of trouble and hardships. Hurt feelings, misunderstandings, even hatred and resentment at times. Assumption can ruin a relationship in the wink of an eye it seems. Let's take a quick look at how assuming things may cause some of these ills between two friends say, or maybe between lovers, neighbors, or anyone else we share our lives with. Here's a quick example of what I am talking about. Let's say a wife calls her husband at work to see what time he is going to be home for dinner. During the conversation she tells him they are out of milk. Having told him that she now assumes he will stop at the market on the way home and pick some up. But he doesn't do it. Now once home the wife asks; "Where's the milk?" "I didn't know you wanted me to get any" he replies. "Well, I told you we were out so I thought you'd be good enough to stop and get some." "Sorry" he replies. But by now the wife is upset and says something like "If you would listen more closely to me when I'm talking I wouldn't always have to ask you to do things for me. You could try doing things that way for a change instead of always only thinking of yourself!" Now that she has managed to get herself all worked up the husband now begins to take offense to some of the things she is saying. So now he becomes angry. Then he yells at her; "What's for dinner? I'm starving!" "Well," she says; We were going to have chicken and mashed potatoes and gravy but since I don't have any milk I may just not cook anything!"  Angrily the husband slams the door as he leaves the house to go pick up the damned milk at the corner grocery. Upon returning he sets the milk down on the table  and says; "Ok Are you happy now?" The wife looks at the milk and says; "This isn't the kind of milk we use." He replies;"Well, Why in the hell didn't you tell me what kind to get?" Her reply?;"Well, I assumed you knew the right kind to get!" Now both of them, angry and frustrated, just go on to bed. Well, actually he is going to sleep on the sofa tonight! And neither one of them wound up getting any dinner at all! And you know how one feels when they go to bed angry? Not very good I imagine. Now mind you, this is just one quick example of what can happen when we assume anything. Especially when we assume what someone else is thinking or what their actions really imply. I have heard it put this way; When you assume you make an ASS(out of) U and ME. I think my young friend is right on. We all need to stop assuming anything. That will be a  good start of building better relationships anyway.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

I'LL LOVE YOU IF...........................................

When you tell someone I love you, what exactly are you saying? Do you even really know? I realize that the word love can imply a different meaning for each one of us. I  just looked  at the definition of the word love and it says; An intense affectionate concern for another person. So using this definition of love let us take a closer look at how we show our love to others. It has been my experience to see that many folks are willing to show their love for another only as long as the other person is doing something for them. And the very moment this person stops giving them what they want look out! Here comes the old I'm teed off now and instead of loving you I choose to withhold my love until you go back to doing whatever it is I think you should be doing for me. Human nature almost demands that others give us something if they truly want us to love them. We can deny that fact but it still doesn't change anything.I suppose that is why it seems so easy for someone to withhold their love from others. We do it to each other all the time and usually don't even realize it. Take a man and his wife who have just had a blowup about some matter and are really angry with each other. Just when they need to show each other the most love is when they instead choose to withhold it from each other. The wife says you are sleeping on the sofa, and the husband says that's fine, now you can go out in the morning and scrape the ice off your windshields yourself. Just don't expect me to do anything nice for you! Just an example of withholding one's love. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me but then again that's just me. Just seems to me that there is way too much of the "conditional" love and not near enough of the "unconditional" love in our lives. I know it's easy to love someone while they are fulfilling your needs and doing what you want them to do. But learning to love others all the time can be a little more testing. May all of us try just a tad bit harder to allow our love to flow freely to others at all times. In my humble opinion withholding love from another for any reason is not a good idea and will only serve to keep us chained to a "selfish" kind of love. Give love, accept love, be love, for that is truly all any of us are!

Saturday, May 27, 2017

WHAT, ANOTHER GUILT TRIP ALREADY

Of all the trips I have ever been on the one I detest the most is the guilt trip. I am continually amazed at the times my fellow human beings use the old ploy of trying to make one feel guilty so they can get whatever it is they think they want. As a young man I used that ploy myself at times since it seemed to work so good. But at that early age I had not yet come to realize that making anyone feel guilty about anything was one of the most selfish acts I could have done. Through the years as I have watched human nature at work I began to see how often this ploy was being used time and time again. I saw parents using it on their children, kids using it on their parents, friends using it on their friends, and on and on. At times the one using these tactics are quite good at hiding the real meaning of their ways. Other times it just stands out like a sore thumb. The guilt implied can be either subtle or downright rude! Personally, I feel using guilt trips on another human being is totally uncalled for and also very degrading to the one being made to feel guilty. But because it does seem to work so good I suppose people will continue to use it.I am so happy that long ago I saw how others tried to manipulate others with guilt and I made a vow to myself to never allow that to happen to me again. And through the years I have had ample opportunity to test myself on this. There are still times when the guilt implied is so subtle I have to look really close but I have gotten pretty good at sniffing it out. Guilt is one of the most devastating emotions one can carry around. Or at least that is the way I see it. Now I will be the first to say that I do stupid stuff all the time and do things I am not so proud of. But still, I absolute refuse to allow anybody to make me feel guilty. Hopefully you are not one of those people who do allow others to make you feel guilty about anything. But I think it is always a good idea to be more aware of those in your life who repeatedly use the old guilt trip thing on you to manipulate your actions. And take a close look at yourself to make sure you are not doing the same thing to someone else. Life, being the mirror it is, may just show you the reflection of yourself using some of that "Emotional Blackmail" on another. May your life be guilt free from now on! Be good to yourself and even better to others!

Monday, May 22, 2017

CHRISTOPHER'S POETRY

My friends I wish to share with you a piece of work penned by my good friend Christopher Dos Santos. May you enjoy it as much as I have. With his permission I give you the following verse



You are one of a kind,
a golden reflection,
a sight to behold,
I love you.

You are exquisitely perfect,
a misstep impossible,
a flawless gem,
I love you.

You are the expression of divinity,
a murderer with bloodied knife,
a thief in the alley,
I love you.

You are magically eternal,
a whisper in the wind,
a star in the night,
I love you.

You are a fractal of all which exists,
a grain of sand in your shoe,
a taste of salt by the sea,
I love you.

You are an omnipresent sun,
a spirit dancing in a body,
a timeless enigma,
I love you.

You are the quintessential God,
a universe without borders,
a creator of reality,
I love you.

You are me as I am another beautiful you
a singularity appearing as two,
a being who cannot be judged,
I will always love you.




Friday, May 19, 2017

HAS THE WORLD FINALLY GONE NUTS OR WHAT?

How does one wake up in the morning and say,"Hey, I think I'll just go out and kill a bunch of people I don't even know?" I just don't get it! But then again maybe I'm not supposed to get it. Ok, here's another scene. How does one go about killing fellow human beings and do it claiming that it is done in the name of some God that declares that you should kill people if they don't agree with your beliefs? Another thing, why does anyone wake up thinking they are better than another person simply because of their skin color? Does the color of your skin dictate what resides in your heart? I don't think so! But what do I know? Why do a lot of folks get up in the morning and right away begin to try and figure out how to take something from another simply because they want to? Why do some people get up with the intention  to be as mean as they can to everyone they meet today? I wish I knew why------ no, maybe I don't after all. So I'll just keep on dreaming--- dreaming of a world where we all learn to walk hand in hand. Live and let live. Sometimes it is tough being a dreamer.

Friday, March 17, 2017

TOMORROW NEVER COMES AND IF IT DOES IT MAY BE TOO LATE

Here lately I have been thinking about just how fleeting this earthly experience really is. I have been wanting to post my thoughts of the following since January but have been putting it off. But now it just won't let me alone so I'd better get it done cause tomorrow just may be too late. I was so saddened this past January when I found out one of my favorite ladies in the entire world had lost her oldest son at the tender age of 21. It is so hard to lose anyone we love in this life but especially so when it is a fine young man whose life has been cut so short. On the day of the Memorial service as I sat listening to the loved ones speaking I was once again reminded of just how quickly anyone can suddenly be taken from our mist. Since that day I've done a lot of thinking about how we sometimes take those we love for granted and think they will always be with us. I've also thought about how we at times get peeved with loved ones about oft times very minor things. Human beings can hurt those they love at times over such silly things. But to make matters worse I have also seen loved ones hold grudges against each other and refuse to make amends. Seems as if they had rather continue to play the part of a victim of some misunderstanding and withhold love as a way of getting even for some either real or imagined hurt. Personally I feel one should never under any circumstances withhold their love, especially when there has been some kind of misunderstanding. That I feel is when love is needed the most. But the worst part of that is when a grudge or ill feelings become permanent and the parties involved never do reconnect in a loving manner. So much love that could have been enjoyed by both parties instead wind up being a void filled with anger and resentment. So sad! I have also seen times when situations like this happen that when one of the parties involved dies the other one is filled with not only grief but also guilt. Then they begin to ask themselves Why didn't I just take time to forgive and let go of my hurt feelings? But by then it is of course too late to make things right again. I try to not give advice but may I just suggest that if any of us harbor any ill feelings toward anyone, especially those we love, that we immediately let go of all our pride, our hurts, and resentment and just go to the one who is estranged and let them know we would like to just forgive, forget , and move on by continuing to love each other. You may not agree with me and I well understand that. I have heard people say someone has just hurt them too bad to forgive them and if you feel that way I would never tell you that you are wrong to feel like that. If you choose that path that entails holding on to pain, resentment, grudges, and the like I'm sure your reasons are valid ones. But I just can't help but think of how much brighter one's path may be if they would choose to embrace unconditional love instead. My hope is that right now if you find yourself harboring any ill feelings toward anyone, especially a brother, a sister, a wife, a husband, a family member, that you contact this person and say, Hey, I love you, I forgive you, I wish you only the very best. If nothing else I can almost guarantee you will at least feel lighter after ridding yourself from any negative feelings toward another human being. But if you do want to do this may I once again suggest you do it now. Tomorrow may just be too late. Love to all of you beautiful people.