Wednesday, April 18, 2012
HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART
Allow me to take a wild guess here and say that either you or someone you know has been the victim of a broken heart at least once.If not, then you are probably very young, very fortunate, or you wont allow yourself to get close enough to another person to risk becoming a victim.I would not be afraid to say that almost everybody will at one time in their life have to deal with overcoming a broken heart.We are just made that way I think.Yes I know there are some folks who just dont seem to love anybody and say they will never have a broken heart, and that could be true. But in any case like that I truly feel bad for that person who will not at least give true love a chance. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe.I really do believe that.Fear will run a close second I imagine but real love can just do so many wonderful things.But how do you mend a heart that has been broken? I wish I had an answer that would do justice to that question but Im afraid I don't.I do know that I have suffered a broken heart so many years ago and at that time in my life I really didnt know if I was going to recover or not.It was definately the hardest thing I ever had to overcome while at the same time it was the "best" thing that ever happened to me. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but it is the truth.Because during that time of healing I was forced to take a closer look at who I really was, what I truly wanted to become, and how to make sure I never had to deal with a broken heart again.Believe me it was a struggle, especially right after the loss of the loved ones who had left me to pursue other adventures in life.I think when someone is faced with divorce, a death, or seperation it usually puts the person in a state of shock.I remember reading where this term was referred to as "love shock". But I think what happens is that nature tries to protect us from ourselves and when first faced with loss the shock keeps us from acting too irrational. After the initial recovery from this state of shock we usually go into a state of anger,usually directed to the person or persons who have broken our heart, and thats when we tend to do a lot of irrational stuff.You know, like writing dumb letters to the person who has left us. Or calling and then hanging up when they answer the phone. Or telling everyone we dont really care and then try to act like we are happy.Then after spending way too much time trying to win this person back(why would we want someone who has told us they dont give a damn about us?) wse finally resign ourselves to the fact we are once again "alone" We swear we will never love again simply because it hurts too damn bad when love goes wrong. Well, I am only speaking from my personal experiences and I know things are different in each case and with each person.But one thing I really would like to share with anyone who is at this time recovering from a broken heart is this:You will get through this!No matter how sad or bad you feel you will make it!You've gotta keep your mind focused on that one certainty-You will survive! But I might suggest that the walls you build to protect yourself from experiencing this pain ever again are not so fortified that you refuse to give love another chance.Years ago when I was struggling trying to recover I already knew that I would love again and take a nother chance because without love I didn't want to survive.So I went through those trials one minute at a time, I cried, I laughed, I listened to those old blues songs(amazing how much comfort one can get by listening to others sing or talk about struggling with the thing you are now going through) I visited with friends and family, I stayed home alone and meditated, I wrote silly poems and stories, I guess I just did whatever I could to get through another day and night.I still was fractured on the inside and it hurt like hell to go to bed every night to once again face all those old hurtful feelings once again.But you know what, I began to see that the harshness of those hurt feelings started to diminish. I was getting over losing the ones I loved. The bad feelings started to wane and I was getting better day by day then two by two and one I woke up and I knew I was healed enough to once again look for companionship.I took the lessons from my "lost love" and made sure I didn't make the same mistakes over. I took full responsibility for my part in the seperation and learned a lot about myself in the process.From the time I suffered my"loss" until I once again found true love was about 4 years. It seemed lots longer then but now I see it was only a fleeting part of my experience here.And all the "good" I got from suffering through this sure made it all worthwhile! Im just so thankful I was able to give love one more chance because if I had not done that I would never have met my true soulmate who has now been by my side for almost 17 years.And yes, she is indeed an angel and I rest assured she will always be here with me forever!Yes broken hearts are indeed the worse kind of pain any person will ever have to endear.But if you do ever find yourself being a victim of love please remember-you will get better, the shock will wear off, and you can if you so choose love again. And I do hope all of you will never give up on love because without love nothing else matters! I will close by saying this-if you are now in a loving relationship give your partner a big hug and tell him or her just how much you love them. And if you have not yet found the "right" one for you please remember that in times all good things come to those who are patient.And if, Heaven forbid, you are now going through a divorce or seperation, please try to remember that love truly does heal all wounds.And do not forget just how powerful a person you are when you allow the perfect Love of the Universe to flow freely through you and tehn outward again to gently touch each soul you may encounter along lifes way.I leave you all with thoughts of love, peace, and joy. If you have a free moment how about doing something really nice for another.Anything it doesnt have to cost money, it dont have to be anything complex, just a warm smile at the person standing next to you in the grocery line, or holding the door open for someone to enter, or by placing a call to an old friend,you get the picture Im sure. And guess what? By doing nice things for others who knows-you may just find Mr or Mrs Right.But dont do the thing itself expecting to get something back. Instead just give freely of yourself with no expectations of any kind because that is the real gift.You do this often enough and Im sure you will finally realize the people you are being nice to are actually giving the best gift to you! That being the opportunity to grow both as a human being and as a spiritual being.The best to all of you my friends and fellow travelers.