WHAT CONDITION MY CONDITION IS IN

How am I doing you may ask. Well, I'm not too unwell thank you. Lately I've been giving much thought to just what is it I'm trying to accomplish here on earth. And guess what, I'm still not sure. Even after all these years of living I still question as to whether I'm in the "right" world or not. Believe me, I have some strong doubts that I'm where I wanted to be at this stage in my life. Please allow me to try and explain just how I am feeling at this particular point in my existence. And as I do at times I am going to use some of my favorite music as a reference point. I will start with a verse from the old Kenny Rogers and the First Edition song titled What Condition My Condition Was In. I quote:  "I woke up this morning with the sundown shining in, I found my mind in a brown paper bag but then I jumped on a cloud and fell eight miles high I tore my mind on a jagged sky I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in." That's kinda the way I've been feeling here lately . Kinda confused if you know what I mean. When I saw on TV the bombings at the Boston Marathon I was really upset. Here we go again I thought--ignorant people killing innocent men ,women, and children because of some misguided beliefs. Terrorism at its finest! Now please, can anyone tell me why any human can believe it is appropriate to blow up, shoot, maim, or destroy another innocent human being? And especially in the name of a God or holy deity who would want one to kill innocents. If by the slightest chance that is even close to being true then I am sure I am not in the right world for me. Way too violence and blood shed for my taste. The way some of us treat each other is just a downright dirty shame! I've been abused, lied to, taken advantage of, and then used some more by several folks in my life who did those things mostly for money or some other selfish purpose. Like the following verse from The Grateful Dead song called "Trucking" which goes like this: "Set up like a bowling pin, knocked down it gets to wearing thin, they just won't let you be...." I feel that also. I still try and treat everyone as nice as I can but still there are those who still just want to use me for their own selfish purposes. Even here on this blog as I try to encourage others to think for themselves and to share their innate goodness with others, I have to daily fight the "spammers" who try to use the blog to make more money for themselves. They could care less as to the content of the blog, they can only see dollar signs in their mirror. To them I am only a "mark" for them to use in their search for money. How sad-these people are just so misguided in their lives. I could go on and on as to the perception I see from this world but I see no use in doing so. Either you get it or you don't. I believe all human beings are born somewhat selfish but one must learn top overcome that and instead learn to share instead of just take, take, and take! I have been taken advantage of by folks who go to church every sunday, those who put on a good show for everyone, always talking about loving your neighbor, treating others right, etc and then on Monday sell me something without revealing the problems I would be faced with later. And then just tell a bunch of lies on Tuesday and every day since. And they never own up to the fact that they really did defraud me in any way. Then they go back to church the next sunday and everything is righteous again? I don't think so but then again who am I to say what's right?  I may not go to church but at least I don't try to be someone I'm not. Why do people think money is the only thing they need? Or to wield power over the masses? But that seems to be the way of this world so yes, I am once again beginning to think I am in the wrong place. This little rant of mine will maybe help me to get back on track, I don't know. But one thing I do know is this, Again borrowing a verse form Jerry Garcia's band who says: "Going home, back to where I belong, sit down patch my bones and get back on truckin almost home". Yes, I am almost home I can start to see the finish line and I'm sure my remaining years on earth will fly by as usual. And while I'm awaiting my so called "death" or what I instead like to label , my "rebirth" maybe next world will be the one I'm looking for. A world where everybody realizes we are all one. Or as Lionel Ritche once sang: If I was at a place where dreams were for dreamers, and all you wished came true. I'd wish the world had all happy people and then there'd be no more wishing to do. "I want to thank all you wonderful people for allowing me a moment to just vent some of my frustrations. I do love all of you and wish for you and yours the very best of everything. And please , if you will, try and do a little something nice for someone from your heart to theirs. "HUGS" to all.