HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART

Allow me to take a wild guess here and say that either you or someone you know has been the victim of a broken heart at least once.If not, then you are probably very young, very fortunate, or you wont allow yourself to get close enough to another person to risk becoming a victim.I would not be afraid to say that almost everybody will at one time in their life have to deal with overcoming a broken heart.We are just made that way I think.Yes I know there are some folks who just dont seem to love anybody and say they will never have a broken heart, and that could be true. But in any case like that I truly feel bad for that person who will not at least give true love a chance. Love is the most powerful force in the Universe.I really do believe that.Fear will run a close second I imagine but real love can just do so many wonderful things.But how do you mend a heart that has been broken? I wish I had an answer that would do justice to that question but Im afraid I don't.I do know that I have suffered a broken heart so many years ago and at that time in my life I really didnt know if I was going to recover or not.It was definately the hardest thing I ever had to overcome while at the same time it was the "best" thing that ever happened to me. I know that sounds like an oxymoron but it is the truth.Because during that time of healing I was forced to take a closer look at who I really was, what I truly wanted to become, and how to make sure I never had to deal with a broken heart again.Believe me it was a struggle, especially right after  the loss of the loved ones who had left me to pursue other adventures in life.I think when someone is faced with divorce, a death, or seperation it usually puts the person in a state of shock.I remember reading where this term was referred to as "love shock". But I think what happens is that nature tries to protect us from ourselves and when first faced with loss the shock keeps us from acting too irrational. After the initial recovery from this state of shock we usually go into a state of anger,usually directed to the person or persons who have broken our heart, and thats when we tend to do a lot of irrational stuff.You know, like writing dumb letters to the person who has left us. Or calling and then hanging up when they answer the phone. Or telling everyone we dont really care and then try to act like we are happy.Then after spending way too much time trying to win this person back(why would we want someone who has told us they dont give a damn about us?) wse finally resign ourselves to the fact we are once again "alone" We swear we will never love again simply because it hurts too damn bad when love goes wrong. Well, I am only speaking from my personal experiences and I know things are different in each case and with each person.But one thing I really would like to share with anyone who is at this time recovering from a broken heart is this:You will get through this!No matter how sad or bad you feel you will make it!You've gotta keep your mind focused on that one certainty-You will survive! But I might suggest that the walls you build to protect yourself from experiencing this pain ever again are not so fortified that you refuse to give love another chance.Years ago when I was struggling trying to recover I already knew that I would love again and take a nother chance because without love I didn't want to survive.So I went through those trials one minute at a time, I cried, I laughed, I listened to those old blues songs(amazing how much comfort one can get by listening to others sing or talk about struggling with the thing you are now going through) I visited with friends and family, I stayed home alone and meditated, I wrote silly poems and stories, I guess I just did whatever I could to get through another day and night.I still was fractured on the inside and it hurt like hell to go to bed every night to once again face all those old hurtful feelings once again.But you know what, I began to see that the harshness of those hurt feelings started to diminish. I was getting over losing the ones I loved. The bad feelings started to wane and I was getting better day by day then two by two and one I woke up and I knew I was healed enough to once again look for companionship.I took the lessons from my "lost love" and made sure I didn't make the same mistakes over. I took full responsibility for my part in the seperation and learned a lot about myself in the process.From the time I suffered my"loss" until I once again found true love was about 4 years. It seemed lots longer then but now I see it was only a fleeting part of my experience here.And all the "good" I got from suffering through this sure made it all worthwhile! Im just so thankful I was able to give love one more chance because if I had not done that I would never have met my true soulmate who has now been by my side for almost 17 years.And yes, she is indeed an angel and I rest assured she will always be here with me forever!Yes broken hearts are indeed the worse kind of pain any  person will ever have to endear.But if you do ever find yourself being a victim of love please remember-you will get better, the shock will wear off, and you can if you so choose love again. And I do hope all of you will never give up on love because without love nothing else matters! I will close by saying this-if you are now in a loving relationship give your partner a big hug and tell him or her just how much you love them. And if you have not yet found the "right" one for you please remember that in times all good things come to those who are patient.And if, Heaven forbid, you are now going through a divorce or seperation,  please try to remember that love truly does heal all wounds.And do not forget just how powerful a person you are when you allow the perfect Love of the Universe to flow freely through you and tehn outward again to gently touch each soul you may encounter along lifes way.I leave you all with thoughts of love, peace, and joy. If you have a free moment how about doing something really nice for another.Anything it doesnt have to cost money, it dont have to be anything complex, just a warm smile at the person standing next to you in the grocery line, or holding the door open for someone to enter, or by placing a call to an old friend,you get the picture Im sure. And guess what? By doing nice things for others who knows-you may just find Mr or Mrs Right.But dont do the thing itself expecting to get something back. Instead just give freely of yourself with no expectations of any kind because that is the real gift.You do this often enough and Im sure you will finally realize the people you are being nice to are actually giving the best gift to you! That being the opportunity to grow both as a human being and as a spiritual being.The best to all of you my friends and fellow travelers.

OLD FRIENDS

There is no friend like an old friend! It's such a blessing thinking of all the friends I have made in this life. Some spent several years of being close friends, some spent a few years or months or perhaps just for a couple of days. No matter how long our friendship lasted nor why we seemed to have grown apart, I stilll think of all of them from time to time.I think of the joys we shared, the hard times we shared, and all other times we were together. And yes, I was truly blessed that each one of them were willing to share a part of their life with me. I learned so much from all of them and in some way all of them have helped me to become a much better human being! And whenever I take a moment to call or visit with any of my "old" friends its like we had never parted at all.To all my dear friends of today,yesterday, and tomorrow I want you to know just how much I love each  and every one of you! And my dear readers, may I suggest that if you want a quick pick-me-up today, just take a moment and call or visit an old friend and then you will see what a joy friends truly are. Why not make that call right now!!Believe me, it will make you feel so much better about everything. I leave you all with love and best wishes.

FORGIVENESS

"Well it's alright riding around in the breeze, and its alright if you live the life you please"
"And it's alright, remember to live and let live, and its alright, the best you can do is forgive"

Those lyrics from the song The End of the Line by the Traveling Wilburys has so much truth in them I thougth I'd use it with today's blog entry.Why is forgiveness so necessary for one's peace of mind? I believe that if we hold any grudges or ill feeling towards any of our human brothers and sisters that it will eventually eat away at our inner peace and contentment until it destroys us completely.Why is it so hard for us to forgive another who has wronged us in any way? I cant answer that question for you but it seems that we as human beings it is ingrained in us to "get even" or to exact revenge. If someone does something to bring us harm then by all means we feel it is necessary to get back at them in some way. And this I personally feel is the wrong way for us to react.I agree with you that at times others do things that are not very nice and cause us to suffer in one way or another. And I must admit that my first impulse is to "pay them back" in like manner.But in my life I have found that as long as I have those kind of feelings I am never gonna be entirely happy and at peace with myself.So does that mean I should just accept the "hurt" another has cause and go about my business as if nothing has happened? No, I dont feel that is the right thing to do but I do feel as if I should work on forgiving that person and then just let it go while at the same time remembering things as they happened so I can protect myself from getting hurt again by the same person.This forgiveness thing can be very tricky also. There have been times in my life when I truly felt I had totally forgiven someone but later find those old feelings (or grudges) again surfacing.It is just too easy to tell oneself they have forgiven another when in reality they are only trying to fool themself into believing that they have . I feel true forgiveness is when we can see the offending party as only reacting to things in their own way and that even tho we dont want to be around them, if by chance we find ourselves in the same room we can still treat that person with dignity and class. And that means being able to accept them as a fellow human being even after they have done something horrible to us.Now why should we forgive anyone if they treat us mean?The biggest reason I feel is not because they deserve our forgiveness but because as long as we hold on to those old hurts then the offending party is still winning!I have seen people carry a lifetime grudge against someone and the person they hate is not even aware of the animosity sent their way. While the offended one or the grudge holder is punishing themselves every day by hanging on to those negative hateful thoughts that soon erode their happiness and peace of mind. I think it would be better for that person to truly forgive the other and just go about thir lives with a lot more peace and contentment in thier lives. Remember, the best revenge is living well!Someone has done you wrong so be it!Dont give them another chance to hurt you again but try your best to forgive.That way you can live well and the offending person will not get the satisfaction of knowing they have hurt you time and time again simply because you continue to carry around all those negative feelings. Free yourself today from all bondage of past hurts and grudges by just letting yourself truly forgive, and I believe you will find life a lot more pleasant. And if you really want to "get back" at those who have offended you in any way, then do something nice for them when they least expect it. And as you learn to forgive and let live please try to remember to do something nice for someone every day just because you can! Best wishes to all!

WHAT A TRIP

"Sometimes the light's all shining on me, other times I can barely see
But lately it occurs to me what a long strange trip its been"
I use the words from a Grateful Dead song to introduce the message of this entry.As I continue to age and grow older I can look back at all the events of my life and just shake my head. Man, it really has been quite a ride! Some of it just absolutely wonderful, some of it absolutely horrible, and the rest somewhere in between. I have come to realize the truth in the old saying that states Its not the destination that is important rather its the ride along the way.At times I believe we human beings put way too much value of the "final destination" of our life when in reality there is never a final destination to be found. Rather it's a never-ending trip made up of our thoughts, our ideas, and our beliefs. And if you can see that as true then it should be easy to see that one should begin right now to enjoy every minute of this glorious ride. Enjoy it Right Now dont be fooled into believing that you must first pass any kind of test, or believe in any man made creed to finally begin to enjoy this life. You are here Now, and there is no such thing as the future.Its all right here, right now awaiting your recognition of all things beautiful. Just remember you will always reap just what you sow so why not right now do something nice for someone just because you can? Go ahead ,do it and dont forget to enjoy the ride even when it seems to be out of control. Life may at times be like the proverbial roller coaster ride but what a ride it is! Enjoy!!!

FINDING FREEDOM

How would you describe freedom or being free in this world of illusion and paradox? Sounds like an easy question which should have an easy answer, right? But I imagine if I were to ask ten people what their idea of freedom is I would get ten different answers. As individuals we can assert our personal beliefs of what freedom is but that will not make it necessarily true for another. In countries around the world where dictators rule backed by great armies one living there may describe freedom as being able to escape to another country which is not under dictatorship.Someone else may describe freedom as being able to live anywhere they choose and to pretty much do whatever they desire to do.So I would imagine that freedom means different things to different people depending on where they live, how they were taught as youngsters, and the circumstances they now find themselves in. Personally I feel freedom is that state of mind where I can believe anything I want to and can do anything I desire as long as it doesnt harm anyone else or break the mores of our society in which I reside.Freedom to me is being able to look past the things I have been taught so I can really use my mind to discover who I really am. Freedom is being able to state my convictions without being punished for them. And that brings me to another fact which is this---This world I now reside in is not a free world! I am blessed to live in a country which is a democratic society but at the same time I am not truly free in all regards.In my life I have been accused of being an arrogant person with some really strange beliefs.Now I admit that some of my beliefs may not coincide with yours or anyone else's but I do feel being arrogant is far from the truth.But I really dont want to get into that discussion right now. I am only trying to stress the fact that for one to be truly free he or she must first admit that most of their beliefs are based on things they have heard, seen, or been told. And I feel one must try to "unlearn" the so called truths that others have said"This is the way you need to think or act or live your life.To me being free is to stop deceiving myself in anything I do or say.I have to take full responsibility for everything I react to. And doing this has led me to stop reacting and to just experience everything that is going on around me. Once I have accomplished climbing that hill of reacting and started to always experience each event then I will at long last attained freedom.My sincere hope for each of you is that you have already found your freedom and are truly happy with all that occurs.Peace I leave with all of you good folks.And if the opportunity knocks at your door to do something nice for some one I do hope you will do so. Enjoy each moment on this beautiful planet and remember that we are all ONE!

YOU'll SEE IT WHEN YOU BELIEVE IT

I use the title of a book by Wayne Dyer for today's subject because I think it is so true. The old saying is I'll believe it when I see it but the other way around is the correct one I believe. Life cannot give anyone something they are not able or unwilling to accept.But if one can go ahead and accept that that thing or condition they desire is already made manifest then life quickly gives us that thing.As singer songwriter Delbert McClinton wrote:"You gotta believe before you see the proof, you can wait a lifetime for a moment of truth." So I would suggest that if you truly want something then first accept wholeheartedly the thing as already done and then wait for life's perfect moment to make the thing manifest in your life.My sincere hope is that all of you are doing great and enjoying every moment of this wonderful life.As you travel along this earthly life's path please take a moment right now to do something nice for someone and continue to be a part of the solution and not a part of the "problem" Hugs to all!

TOO MUCH STUFF

"Got hurt cant work got a lot of bills
But the policy dont pay unless I get killed
"Just my luck counting on too much stuff
"Well its a way too much you never gonna get enough
"You can pile it high, but you ll never be satisified
These lyrics from a Delbert mcClinton song always reminds me just how much we a s humans think we need to have so much "stuff" to be happy. We tend to think that after we attain all the material possessions we desire then we can stop and rreally be happy. But ya know what? Like the song says you'll never be satisified. And I think that is true if we put all of our desires on material things.Lots of times less is more. George Santayana has stated the following:"I like to walk about among the beautiful things that adorn the world; but private wealth I should decline, or any sort of personal possessions, because they would take away my liberty." I like that quote.Dont get me wrong there is nothing wrong with wanting "things" or "stuff" and it does make life easier if you manage to have some money and other stuff. But the thing old George was saying I do believe, is that when we focus too much on "stuff" we oft times miss the real assets that life has to offer. Like new friendships, making peace with others, doing nice things just for the heck of it to help others, being a real friend, sharing what we do have with others, taking a quiet walk thru the woods or on the beach, watching a sunset and on and on.My hope for all of us is that we can learn to clear a lot of the "clutter" from our lives and then begin to share our true wealth with each other.I wish you and yours the very best of everything. Please try to remember to do something nice for someone today just because you can and want to!Bless you all!