AS MUCH AS I LOVE TRAINS, I'M GLAD TO GET OFF THIS ONE

You have heard the old saying--I saw a light at the end of the tunnel and hoped it aint a train coming. Well a few weeks back I saw that light and sure enough it was the Ol midnite Special barelling down upon me. And even if unwittingly I allowed myself to be sucked on that wild ride that took me into the very bowels of this material world that is filled with all kinds of negative vibrations. And once again I succombed to this whirling sucking eddy of despair and let it fill my conscious mind with grief, despair and disaster. Believe me it aint no place to be. I know I allowed my feelings to surface in the past 2 or 3 posts on here and for that I am sorry. Like most human beings there are times when I question my own existence here and wonder just what in the hell Im trying to accomplish. I still aint too sure about some of it but I do know Im not here to spread negative feelings around. So with some help I was again able to jump off that train and get back to where I feel more comfortable.And with that said I wil try my best to remain positive on my future posts. thanks for bearing with me while my ind went on that wild ride on the Midnite Special. Sure hope all of you fine folks are doing great. God bless!

CAP AND TRADE BILL

If you are like me you probably aren't to enthused with our politicians. But in case you havent heard of the new cap and trade bill our president signed you should really check it out before the senate enacts it as law. It has already passed the house and stands to be passed by the senate unless enough tax payers raise hell and get it stopped. I dont know all the ins and outs of this bill but I do kow it will affect everyone one of us in a negative manner and as always will cost us plenty of money. And with the passage of this bill you wont even be able to sell your own house until you have a government agency inspect it and it will have to pass all their energy requirements and you will have to pay for all this to sell yor own home, Kinda scary I know and I wanted to let ya know so you can check it out yorself.

THINGS I'M TIRED OF

Not only have I been getting more tired physically these days I am really getting tired of some of the stuff going on in this world.I know I'm ranting a little but here goes anyhow. I'm really tired of having to put up with living in a world where the fair minded and honest people are pushed into a deeper hle every day while the world piles reward upon reward to those who lie, cheat and steal to anyone who gets in their way. Im tired of our courts letting thugs and all kinds of evil doers go scott free and putting otherwise good folks into jail for smoking a little pot or failing to pay an unfair tax or some other nonsense like that. Im tired of living in a world where idiots go around plotting ways to kill innocent people all in the name of God or whatever else they claim to believe in. Im tired of this world being full of innocent starving children while countries such as ours spend more than enough money to feed these children on invading other countries and starting wars. Im sick and tired of the same ol politicial system that only serves to put a select few in charge while at the same time holding otherwise good people down. Forgive me if Im wrong but dont you think the politicians shyuld at least have to live by the same standards they force us to live under? Did you ever wonder why they seem not real concerned with with Social Security going broke? Could it be that they have enacted laws that make sure their financial security is safe. They dont have to depend on SS they have made laws that giv e themselves a continious retirement benefit seperate. In other words they have made sure their asses uh I mean their assets are a sure thing and that they will never have to worry about money.Ands you know what Im tired of the American public being so gullibile that they continue to elect the samde people over and over and when they do decide to vote for someone else they have no idea who they are voting for.Republicans, democrats,all party members have 1 thing in common. And that is they are going to take care of themselves first. Im so tired of kentuckys government in Frankfort I could jsut scream. That good ol boys network has been going on for as long as I can remember and they keep putting it to us every year. We are 1 of the poorest states in the Union and people wonder why! Im also tired of the tele-evanglists on tv begging for my money.They will "pray" for you and yours if youi send them a hearty donation--if you dont have any money I suppose you are just out of luck. Im tired of the people who let themselves get fooled by any of these slick talking hal-assed human beings who claim to be doing Gods work Give me a break! You know what else Im tired of. Seeing otherwise smart and intelligent people being lead down one path or another by these slickers.Cmon folks how about using that mind to come up with your own solutionsand ways of doing things.And Im tired of false friends. Those whom you have tried to be friends with and all they do is call you when THEY want something. I guess Im just getting old and cranky but it sure seems like the good folks keep getting screwed and the good honest people get nothing but heartache in return while the leeches of this world with their smirky smile and slick tongues get all the good stuff. I just think Im in the wrong world and Im about ready to just quit trying and become one of those "lambs' who is willing to be led in any direction.I guess after all is said Im just damned tired and Ive got a case of the blues.Hey, but tomorrow is a new day so who knows!

SON OF A BITCH I'M TIRED

You may or may not remember the song by Hank Williams Jr. titled Son of a bitch Im tired. Well I know exactly how he must of felt when he wrote that one cause thats where Im at right now and I dont see things getting much better this week. I sure hope all of you are doing lots better than I am. May the week ahead bring you much joy and good living!

A WEEK IN HELL

Just wanted you to know why I havent been posting anything new. Ive spent this past week living in hell and seeing what it feels like. But Im sure things will eventually get better. Just admitting that Ive had a really horrible week seems to help a bit. Hope all of you have had a better one!

WHY DO WE HURT THOSE WE LOVE?

I sure hope you have an answer for that question cause I sure dont. I am continually amazed at the hurt I see others intentionally inflict upon others for no reason whatsoever. Most of the time i see that the one doing the hurtful things are the ones who have the "least" reason to do so. Usually it because of something that is bothering that person and they dont have the guts to face up to it and try to fix themselves so they instead turn around and try to inflict pain on someone who truly loves them simply because if they are miserable then they want someone else to be equally miserable. And it seems to me the more someone does that just shows how insecure they truly are on the inside. Most of them will put up a stoic front and pretend to be the one in "charge" of things and they are well versed in tring to turn everything around on the one they are trying to punish. And this person who is receiving the brunt of this negativity usually has no idea where all this ugliness is coming from. If only these people who insist on being hurtful to loved ones could see themselves through someone elses eyes instead of their own ego I believe they would be surprised at how all this makes them look to others. Guess what Im saying is that before one starts inflicting emotional pain on a loved one they should first take a long hard look at their own inner feelings and instead of being nasty to a human being work on aligning their actions with those of a peaceful loving nature. My hope for all o f you is that the ones you love are treating you with much love and respect in return. And for those poor souls who continue to inflict damage on their relationships with family and friends all I can say is I wish you the best and hope you can finally see the light really soon before your loved ones are gone forever.

MY FIRST LOVE

I dont exactly know why but recently I got to thinking about my childhood and all the fun things I was able to do. And yeah I had the same trials as any youngster growing up and I vividly remember those trials as well as all the good times. I was thining about my first "love". I was in the 3rd grade at Wingo elementry and was blessed to be in a class with the girl who became my first love. Her name was Brenda Gay Tarver. Her and her twin sister(in our class also) Linda Kay Tarver were always very popular with us boys. We all thought they were just so cute and I guess all o f us boys at one time or another tried to make one of the gorgeous twins our "girlfriend". Even tho this was such a long time ago and some of the memories are a little vague I do remember very well how great I felt when I found out that Gay "liked" me. So of course being the romantic guy I was a t 8 or 9 I immediately went to Gay and asked her to be my girlfriend. To my surprise she said ok I will. And really at that time in my life I was extremly shy around girls but it didnt stop me from feeling like a king knowing I had one of the cutest girls as my girl.And I remember sitting in the auditorium holding her hand while we were supposed to be watching a film of something I dont recall. I remember all the other guys looking at me and I knew they were jealous and I was loving every minute of it.I think Gay and I remained boy and girl friend for about a week. I do remember calling her at home and chatting with her trying all the time to keep my courage up. Now I cant really remember why she decided we were no longer good together(it was probably because some other boy had gotten her attention) but I was crushed. But only for a few days when I then went to Kay(the other twin) and asked her to be mine. She said ok! Wow! Now I dont think that relationship lasted over a day or 2 either but I had been successful in getting both of those girls to be my girlfriend for a little while!Then I think I managed to get along alone until the 4th grade. Our grade was going to have to take dance lessons in our music class. The teacher of our class-Mrs. Watkins I think it was- went down the rows of kids and let the girls pick out who they wanted as their dance partner. One of the first girls to choose was Kathy Henson who I had admired from afar cause I thought she was so pretty. But I didnt have the guts to let her know that. So when Mrs Watkins asked her who she wanted as a partner she replied "Ronnie McIntosh" and I was really stunned. Now you know I cant even remember much about the dance classes but I do remember Kathy. She only lived a few houses down from where I lived but somehow I never was able to muster up the courage to knock on her door. So our only "relationship" was that of dance partners for 1 semester.I sure wish I hadnt been so darned shy back in those days but what the heck--I remember my 1st love and all others very vividly. So whereever you are now Kay Gay and Kathy just remember I still love ya!