Tuesday, February 16, 2010
WHEN RELATIONSHIPS GO BAD
Well, we have just finished celebrating Valentines Day with all the cards candy hearts poetry dinners and everything else in between. It is such a blessing to be in a relationship where both parties are truly happy. To me nothing is as beautiful as 2 people in love who know how to make a relationship work. Believe me I know just how hard a relationship can be at times to keep vital. I was talking with my dear wife about relationships while we were out for dinner this Valentines Day.I told her I felt really bad for those folks who were not in a loving relationship and had to see all the "happy" couples enjoying another Valentines Day. Granted there are those who prefer not to be in a committed relationship and that is a choice I hope they are happy with. But for all those folks who are now in the process of a dissolving relationship of any kind I feel badly for.Those who have lost a love thru divorce or seperation I believe are the hardest.Most all of us have either gone thru a broken relationship and a broken heart or will sometime in the future. I have a very dear friend right now who is in the midst of divorce and that was my inspiration for this entry.From my past experiences I have come to find that most folks will blame themselves for a failed marriage or committed relationship even tho they are not fully at fault.And to those folks I would remind them that a divorce doesnt mean the end of the world or the end of relationships unless they choose to let it destroy them. They are still the beautiful loving wonderful soul they were while in the relationship even tho they probably dont feel like their self-worth is very good.There are just so many reasons why a marriage will often times end in divorce. It takes much love and understanding to make even the most loving relationship last forever. I know from my own personal experience that a person who finds themselves in seperation or divorce can and must reinvent themselves to become fully healed from a broken relationship. In my case after a seperation with the woman and kids I loved so dearly I found myself with very low self esteem and failing health. I thought at the time I would never recover from the deep wounds inflicted upon me(mostly wounds I unknowingly placed upon myself). But with a lot of soul searching, a lot of help from family and friends, and an "inner" knowing that this was really a chance for me to grow and to finally find the woman I was meant to spend my life with. And several years later after my lost love I found myself completely healed and in love again.This love turned out to be one with my soul mate and on the 14th of May we will celebrate our 15th year together as man and wife.And it truly is a match made in Heaven. So ffrom my pain so long ago I learned that no matter how badly we may be hurt we can always with the right amount of effort find ourselves once again and go from that point a better person. My next entry will be a story that I wrote and was published in the Science of Mind magazine in april of 1993 3 years after my seperation and the new beginning I started upon.Again I wrote this story to try and inspire others who find themselves going thru anything similiar.I just want everyone to know that there is a life after divorce and oft times a much better life. So I hope you will read this before you read the story called Losing It All. May God bless any of you that are hurting in any way but especially those suffering a broken heart.Keep the faith my friend!